The Blessing and Curse of Being a Chameleon Traveler

This idea came to me while I was walking along Fort Lauderdale’s Riverwalk. Then, it carried into my California adventures. The concept of being blessed and cursed—at least in my eyes—and of being a chameleon while traveling.

The blessing of being a chameleon is that I can adapt very easily—almost too easily. I am the traveler who sips champagne and eats a fancy appetizer at Nobu. But I am also the traveler who sleeps in a car or tent, goes four days without showering, and eats freeze-dried food out of a bag. I truly love both worlds, the fancy and the simple. There’s pride in being able to connect with all kinds of travel, and that’s a blessing. I can adapt to my surroundings while on the move.

And for those friends out there who are solidified in one category, whether it's fancy travel or camping in your car, staying in hostels, on yachts, or at the Ritz, I sometimes envy you because you know exactly what you like and dislike. Compared to me, someone who sometimes likes almost anything and everything while I travel, that feeling of being a new person, learning and experiencing different lifestyles.

But this is where I struggle and feel like it’s a curse. Every time I travel, I try to figure out if that’s the life I want to lead or if it’s the life of Wandering Bel. I’ve mentioned my duality when I travel before. See this continuation of that theme? When I escape my everyday life, I become a different person—more confident, more playful. So, during trips, I wonder whether this could be my new way of living or if this is just Bel letting loose.

On my most recent trip to SoCal, California, this feeling hit me hard. I haven’t fallen madly in love with a place in a long time—so much so that I’ve wondered if I should move there. The last time I felt this way was with Colorado, a place that means everything to me and where I plan to move. I think. Maybe?

But this trip really left me confused and made me rethink everything. Maybe Colorado isn’t the place I’m meant to move to. Perhaps the beach life suits me better.

Fun fact: the ocean was my first love years before the Rockies.

A friend of mine commented on a picture of me at Ventura Beach with the sunset behind me, saying the summer looks good on me. And I couldn’t agree more! I love being by the water, feeling the beach vibes, the slow pace of life, the warmth of the sun on my skin—feeling like it recharges my body and soul.

With all my pondering, I am not contemplating my next move as my final one. I learned that mistake a few years ago with Washington, D.C. I truly thought I would live, work, and retire there. Yeah, I may have lived overseas for a couple of years and then returned, but I really wanted to be there forever.

Fast forward through the years and all my travels, and I am ready to get out of DC. So now, I am trying to plan my next steps for the next 1–3 years. Where do I want to live (Colorado!! Maybe??)? What kind of lifestyle do I seek (Mountains?! Beach?!)? And where can I go to feel not only at home but also at peace?

If you are reading this and thinking I am having an identity crisis, especially after this California trip, Yep, you’re right!

Usually, though, I experience this feeling after returning from Colorado and sometimes London too! I look around my carefully decorated apartment (all the money I spent to make it a “home”) as I enjoy the love from my pets, and I think to myself:

“What if I could get rid of everything and start a new life?”

I’m sure you’ve heard that voice too.

Every time, I give that voice a few seconds to present reasons to do so, but then my other voice chimes in and says:

“No, you have a good job!”

“What about the life you finally built?”

“What about your things?”

“No, go back to DC.”

I listen to that voice every time and fall back into being a good girl. But I resent that voice. The more I listen, the more I question my life. Don’t get me wrong; this doesn’t happen all the time. I don’t want to stay everywhere (yeah, no Florida).

A friend of mine reminded me that this isn’t a curse; it’s called being a Gemini, and it’s actually a blessing to be that flexible. I should really embrace it instead of feeling lost and confused. She asked me why it has to be one thing, especially if it bores you.

To her credit, she’s not wrong, and to be fair, she’s never wrong about life. As she pointed out, I am not the problem, and I need to stop thinking I am.

Hi, it’s me! I’m the problem.

Sorry, I had to make that joke; I did it to her as well—ha!

As I try hard not to see being a chameleon as a problem, I'm figuring out my next move… Colorado? California? Life in general…

I am going to enjoy the sun on my skin while listening to music and people laughing on Pacific Beach, and I’ll savor this moment right now.