How Do I Overcome Panic before My Solo Trip?

I belong to many solo traveler groups on Facebook, and this is the number one, if not the most, frequently asked question, right after "How do I solo travel?"

Am I nervous that I've overpacked or underpacked for a trip?

Sure.

Am I nervous about language barriers when traveling internationally?

Yes.

But the only time I have ever panicked before a trip was when I traveled with someone else. I’ve discussed that in a different post.  But I never panicked like others who sought advice in the groups, or a couple of my friends who have faced extreme panic.

I did what many others do: I read the comments and advice available online. Then, I began conducting my research; I am a trained researcher, after all.

It’s essential to note that some online advice can exacerbate these feelings. Yes, I said it. While I fully support safety and being prepared, specific recommendations can make situations seem worse than they are.

Below, I will share my advice and debunk some of the other guidance I have encountered. One thing to keep in mind is that my advice may not suit everyone; people travel differently. However, consider approaching your travel in a new way.

I also want to emphasize that I am not a mental health professional. If you are already working with one, that’s fantastic! My advice is not a substitute for professional help, but it can serve as a valuable supplement to your existing mental health care. Be sure to discuss my suggestions with your mental health provider, my friend!

1.        Start small! This is one of my favorite pieces of advice to share. If you want to travel solo, begin by taking yourself on a date. It could mean going to a restaurant, visiting the next town over, or exploring a city an hour away. Start with a day trip, then plan another one, and keep going until you feel comfortable with an overnight stay, and eventually, a week-long trip.

This approach is ideal for solo travel because it helps you discover who you are as a person. You begin to build a relationship with yourself, fostering trust and intuition. I have been solo traveling for over 15 years, and I continue to learn a great deal about myself and how to trust my instincts more deeply. It's a lifelong journey, and if you choose to embark on it, it will be the most rewarding relationship you'll ever have.

2.        Breathe. One of my favorite techniques for calming down when I feel upset or overwhelmed is box breathing. This method involves the following steps: breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, and hold again for a count of 4. I find this technique particularly effective because I am a yogi and yoga teacher who has practiced it extensively. However, starting with the 4-4-4-4 method is a great way for beginners to start, too.

Another technique I enjoy is slightly different; I breathe in for a count of 6, hold for a count of 2, exhale for a count of 8, and repeat. Practicing this breathing technique helps calm my mind, making it easier to move on to the next step.

3.        What you focus on, you will bring to fruition! I modified this quote from a friend who expresses a similar sentiment. Now, let me put this in more conversational terms. If you keep saying, "I will get robbed" or "I will have a terrible time," then yes, travel can become unpleasant.

Now, traveling doesn’t mean everything will go perfectly, and I’ve found myself in frustrating situations—those are inevitable. Life happens. However, if you constantly overthink and dwell on negative possibilities, things will likely get worse because you are inviting that energy into your trip. Sorry, but that is the truth.

4.        When life throws curveballs, remember to return to step 2. Unexpected things can happen during trips; you might miss your bus, encounter rude people, or start to feel like you’re not doing travel right. It’s essential to pause, breathe, and release those frustrations.

I recall a time at Dulles Airport. I accidentally ripped a hole in my leggings just before boarding my flight. I went to the bathroom to check it out and felt annoyed with myself for gaining a little weight. But while sitting on the toilet, I took a few deep breaths and thought, "Fuck it. I'm going to have a great time."

I thanked my leggings for their service, pulled out a pair of jeans, changed, and tossed the leggings in the trash. By shifting my mindset, I ended up having a fantastic time in Boston!

5.        The 5555 rule. At least, this is what I call this simple yet effective technique for calming your mind. To use this method, select an object for each of your senses: What do you see? What do you taste? What do you hear? What do you smell? What do you touch? Continue going through these questions until your thoughts begin to slow down. This technique helps ground you in the present moment and distracts your mind from anxious thoughts.

6.        Move your body. Take a walk, practice yoga, stretch, or engage in any movement that feels good to you to relieve panic. How do you know what kind of movement you need? Your body will tell you! Remember to refer to step one, which emphasizes the importance of building a relationship with yourself.

7.        Plan, but don’t overplan. I love organizing trips, which is why my friends call me Mama Bel—I’m always ready for an adventure and make sure I’ve got everything I need for myself and my friends. I enjoy researching and creating itineraries to ensure I have my transportation arranged and my accommodations—whether it’s a hostel, hotel, or campground—booked. I also make sure to pack my clothes and gear.

However, I highly recommend working some flexibility into your plans. Suppose you stick too closely to an itinerary. You could miss out on the magic of travel, like stumbling upon a local festival, witnessing a breathtaking sunset, or meeting interesting people. Becoming too consumed by your schedule can take away from the joy of your trip and make you feel stressed.

8.        Connect with other travelers. Enhance your solo journey by joining group tours or staying in hostels to meet like-minded individuals. Or sit at a bar or coffee shop and start a conversation. It’s scary, and you might strike out, but you will find someone to talk to, and sharing experiences can provide comfort and enrich your travels.

9.        Don't rush! Take your time, my friend. Allow yourself to adjust to the new environment. It's perfectly fine to take a day off to relax and recharge. This is something I still find challenging! I am that person who is go, go, go. I want to see, do, talk, and feel everything, but sometimes you need to throw in a day or half a day to sit still and just be. Honestly, I struggle with this the most.

10.  Stay safe, but don't let it drive you crazy. I have a perspective that may differ from some opinions you may find online. Yes, it’s essential to plan, research, and be aware of your surroundings. If you ever feel uncomfortable, it’s wise to take a step back and reassess the situation.

However, you don’t need to share every detail of your trip with friends and family back home. You also don’t have to create an elaborate box of passwords and other vital documents in case you go missing. If that sort of preparation works for you, then great—more power to you. But if the thought of all that overwhelms you, simplify your life. Focus on your gut feelings and what you want to do. Again, read step one about this!

Honestly, I’ve been that friend who travels without telling anyone until I return and share my experiences afterward. I grew tired of the crime podcasts that my friends kept bringing up. As a seasoned solo traveler, I usually prefer to keep things to myself. Even when I first started traveling, I rarely informed anyone about my plans because I didn’t want to get bogged down by others' thoughts, feelings, and biases while trying to find my way. Speaking of…

11.  You are in control… if you choose to be. If you have taken some or all of my advice, then you are in charge of your trips, especially if you’ve followed the first piece of advice—start small.

However, if you allow life, other people, or your thoughts to dictate your trip, then you are not in control. THIS IS YOUR TRIP—it is not your mom's, your friend's, or society's. It belongs to you. You can do whatever you want. You can change your mind. You can strike up a conversation with someone you met randomly. You can agree to last-minute plans. You have the freedom to do whatever you choose with the beauty of solo traveling and your fears.

If you’re questioning whether you’re doing solo travel "right," keep this advice in mind: if you are making choices, then you are doing it right.

It's normal to feel a bit anxious before a solo trip. However, with proper preparation and the right mindset, you can turn that anxiety into excitement. Safe travels!